It’s been a whopping four months since I last posted on here – since I last wrote anything at all, actually. I don’t really have any excuses. I had a bunch of Halloween and Autumn-y posts planned, but I didn’t get the first one done one week and then I didn’t do the next and then Halloween was over and my fatal flaw got to me again – guilt.
I felt incredibly guilty that I hadn’t done any of the posts I had planned and then that absolutely annihilated my self-confidence and self-esteem – I began thinking that I was a bad writer and then because I hadn’t written in a while, I began to grow more and more apathetic towards writing. Towards everything, actually.
I somehow end up in this hole where I don’t talk to my friends or hang out with them, and then because I don’t see them in so long, I begin having more negative thoughts, like “are they really my friends?” When of course they are, and I wouldn’t even question this if I actually made an effort to meet up with them more often.
Likewise, of course I enjoy writing, which I’d remember if I just picked myself up and started doing it again. The hardest part of writing is to stay doing it. It takes time and energy, and the longer you go without writing, the harder it is to start again. Somehow a third of a year slipped by in which I wrote nothing. I regret that.
I want to care about things again. For the past few months my weeks have consisted of go to work > watch TV > play video games > stare mindlessly at my phone > repeat next week. And while I do enjoy a good game, I consistently feel like I’ve wasted all of my time. This cycle (minus work) is why I started this blog in the first place, so it only makes sense that I should start writing again. I’ve also deleted Twitter and Snapchat (God knows they made that easy).
My best friend told me tonight that my blog was good, and it does seem like at least some of you enjoyed reading me yabber on every few weeks, so here I am again. I absolutely hate finding a blog I enjoy, reading a load of their posts and then realising their last one was two year ago. I should never have stopped, and I’m counting on my good friend (you know who you are) to keep me in check. If any of you ever want me to write about a topic in particular, give me a buzz.
Yours from the grave,
Sean (With a Fada) x
PS I have six empty notebooks and it’s damn shameful that they aren’t being used so that is also a factor. They call to me in my dreams.